Supporting idol celebrities flirt with their cars? Psychologist reveals the reasons behind the feeling of loss and how to re-examine expectations in the relationship

We will experience many fantasies during the growth process. This includes: the fantasy of finding that you are not as big or excellent as you think, the fantasy of finding that your parents are not as ideal as you think, and the fantasy of finding that some celebrities are not as beautiful as we think.

stars, or politicians, "falling from the gods", will cause us to feel internal conflicts and anxiety. When you receive the message, the most immediate reaction will be shock, confusion and denial. We will ask, "How is it?", "How is it possible?"

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"Everyone I admire you has a self I want to be." Behind the anger, there is a projection of our "perfect ideal"

facing idol car racing, we may be angry, search for more evidence to prove our idol's innocence, and may even argue with people from different parties on the Internet. Behind these angers, what we actually say is: we want to continue to believe, the path we have believed in the past.

Why do we want to continue to believe? The reason is that as long as we continue to believe, we can avoid having to accept illusions, not accepting imperfections, and no one can represent who has lived the life they want and the mission they want to accomplish. In

In the political politics of the times, we have a feeling that the people I choose can represent me and exercise democratic rights and responsibilities. However, this is actually a psychological projection of an ideal self placed on the idol. While we allow the idol to be passively accepted by our projection, we secretly allow ourselves to pass on and give up our role in the democratic society's supervisory and social active participation.

Re-examine the expectations in the relationship and no longer suffer from idealization of others

In the relationship, we actually have this idealized situation.

believes that the other party is more capable and better, so the more things happen, the more they make the other party decide, and they gradually focus on the other party's opinions, without examining the various decisions in the relationship. We seem to be indifferent to doing things and are not responsible for being the benefiting party. In fact, we are delivering ourselves, independent capabilities, and grievances.

To stop and continuously idealize others' circulation, it is nothing more than to recognize that each person is limited. Idols are human beings, but human beings are in perfection. Stop the heroic expectations and stop idealizing others to easily and quickly project. Really return to life and ask yourself, what is my ideal to me? What kind of relationship do I want? What kind of disappointment would I have probably experienced? How should I accompany myself through that disappointment? And why are these tolerances important on the road I want to move forward? What kind of society do I want to live in? And live that way.

Because how idols act does not reveal the future society. But how you acted, what would it be like for our future society.