You have always been your own parent. How did you teach yourself?

To cultivate self-compassion, you must first understand your relationship with yourself, and have mindfulness and behaviors that reflect self-compassion. The practice in this book can help you choose to learn beneficial anger in a self-compassionate way.

You have always been your own parents. How did you teach yourself?

To be self-merciful, you must pay attention to your attitude towards yourself at any time.

1. How do you view yourself when you make a mistake or fail to meet your expectations?

2.How do you explain to yourself the pain that occurs to you, and the feelings that contribute to pain or accompany you? How do you usually understand how you feel?

3.How do you evaluate the pain in your body? How do you take care of your body?

4. Are you your own good friend?

5.How do you encourage yourself to achieve your goals? What do you say when you motivate yourself? What kind of verb is used to verb?

How did you teach yourself throughout your life? This problem is strange at first glance, but in fact, you have always been "your own parents" since the beginning and teach yourself. Although your two or others will be responsible for teaching you during childhood, you are also your own parents. You will develop an inner voice since you are a child: the voice of authority. This sound will tell you what expectations you should have for others and the world, and most importantly, it will tell you what expectations you should have for yourself.

Because you were young at that time, you would listen carefully to this sound, sometimes even you didn't realize it yourself. This sound will guide your daily decisions and behaviors from all aspects:

●It shapes you at that time, you are now, and the model you will want to be.

●It will shape your attitude towards yourself when you achieve or fail to achieve your own expectations.

●It has a profound impact on your relationship with yourself.

So, what is your voice of authority? Is it a compassionate or a strict voice? If you have always been a compassionate person, your relationship with yourself will reflect the characteristics of the discussion in Chapter 4. If you have always treated yourself with a strict attitude, you may have become numb to the pain in your life. Just like many children disciplined by strict parents, you may lack trust in international relations. Not only will you set unreasonable goals for yourself, but you will also compare your achievements with others and forget to be satisfied with your achievements.

A strict mind will make you feel your shortcomings. Therefore, you may often fall into competition in international relations. A strict mind often leads to your desire to control the power of guidance. This is a cautious way of defense to avoid feeling worse than others. The strict voice in your heart may even turn self-sympathy into self-depression.

Give compassion to your experience of anger

Practicing self-compassion can help you calm your emotions, just like parents who care for children with poor emotions. This requires compassion for every aspect of your anger experience, including your needs, desires, expectations, hypothesis, negative feelings, body reactions, and brain images. A broad sense of self-compassion recognizes every element of your experience and empathizes and compassion for yourself.

Acknowledge that

Compassionate parents will hear and recognize their children's feelings, and will not correct, deny or disdain these feelings. This allows us to fully accept our feelings when we grow up, without criticizing or avoiding them.

Empathy, compassion and compassion

When you have empathy for others, you must first feel the feelings of others; when you have empathy for yourself, you must clearly understand and distinguish your feelings.

On the contrary, compassion is to care about other people's feelings and hope that they have a happy and happy life. Self-compassion is to care about yourself with this kind of attitude.

Empathy and compassion can help you see and perceive pain. Realizing one's own feelings and fostering empathy can be transformed into a corrected perception. This is a sense of empathy that you may never have experienced and can help you through the pain.

The wisdom of self-compassion

Wisdom is the "self-soothing" in self-compassion, and it also has the following characteristics:

●Can make you feel that supports you and can guide your ideas.

●Able to view the feasibility of children's logic in real life.

●Can remind you that everyone will make mistakes, and making mistakes can help you learn and grow.

●Can help you consider other possibilities while thinking about the discussion and adjust your expectations.

●In addition to your past experience and observation, it also comes from mindful self-observation.

In order to cultivate the wisdom of self-compassion, you need to choose a "power voice" that can guide and evaluate you with compassion. Compassion Focus Theory provides a variety of practices to help you achieve this goal.